To Canada We Go

Jake and I, along with sisters Jessie and Casey, are heading to Canada this weekend for our cousin's wedding. By way of plane, car, and ferry. I'm excited. It's been so long since I was on Vancouver Island and I'm looking forward to going back. I'm also strangely looking forward to the 2.5 hour ferry ride (one-way!). I'm bringing cards and maybe a board game and I can't wait to catch up with my sisters and giggle. It's also going to be rainy with highs of 60 the whole time we're there. This I am also strangely looking forward too. I'm packing long dresses and cozy sweaters. Even some boots! I'm ready for Fall.

It's been one of the busiest summers ever. So, I am also looking forward to unplugging a bit. No cell service, no computer. I'm even going to delete all the photos from my phone (thank you Google Photo!) and have a clean slate for videos and photos. 

Even though it's going to be a whirlwind weekend weekend (22+ hours of traveling for 32ish hours of visiting), I'm ready to unwind. 

just the two of us

Palm Trees Wild Mae.jpg

Tomorrow Jake and I are finally crossing that "just-the-two-us vacation" off my 28 Before 29 List. We are flying to Mexico for a few days. Tulum to be specific. And I CANNOT WAIT! I've been brushing up on my spanish (Una mas cerveza por favor!), buying all the cute sun dresses, and not planning a single thing to do in Tulum! This trip is all about relaxation. We might snorkel, we might not. We might go for a hike, we might not. We will probably go to the ruins (how can we not?), I'd like to jump in a cenote, and we'll definitely be eating, drinking, and sun-bathing. Now, just to get through the rest of today!

I hope you all have a wonderful 4th of July (it's my favorite holiday, but Mexico will be fun too!)! I'll try to find a sparkler and light it to celebrate with you! I'll be overgramming lots of vacay pics over on Instagram, so be sure to follow along!


Living Room - Before

wild mae living room before

June 2nd was our one-year house-iversary! We celebrated by giving our living room a makeover. There is/was nothing inherently bad about our living room, but some stuff just had to go. Like that giant rock fireplace with a dinky electric stove. And, carpet just doesn't fair well in a house with dogs. Especially the carpet that is in the room with the dog door. Plus, out of all the "big" things we want to do our house, renovating the living room is probably one of the cheapest albeit, the most labor intensive. We are doing all the work ourselves (with some wonderful help from Jake's dad) which cuts costs big time. 

It won't be complete for a little while (we are busy people!), but I thought I'd share some of the "before" pictures for you. 

These first photos show what it looked like when it was staged for sale. For perspective, this room is on the back of the house, so you walk from the kitchen into the living room and you are facing the bay window. 

This second set of photos is how we've had the living room arranged for about the past year. 

Can't wait to show  you the AFTER!


some words on grief

I wrote this as a post on Facebook the other day. I thought I'd post here too. 

Not to get too sappy, but this video just made me cry and cry and cry. I usually would stop myself, I don't let the tears flow freely. When I was with my little sister the other weekend, we talked about how we push down the feelings of intense pain. We get tears in our eyes and we brush them away. She mentioned that a new friend had asked her if she had anyone with whom she could just cry. Just really let it out, free of judgement. I'd had similar conversations with some of my other siblings recently. Obviously, we have each other, but we also try to be really strong for one another. And we all live in different states, different countries even. Grieving over the phone isn't easy, natural, or even really possible. Because the next wave of grief can't be planned.

And, thinking about it further, I'm not sure if the question really is do we have someone, but will we let ourselves? Will we give ourselves permission to "go there"? It's hard and it's scary. I have this feeling that I haven't let myself "grieve" yet. I think this makes sense considering the nature of my dad's departure. It's very confusing, all the unknowns. But, I'm realizing, I'm trying to define grief. I'm trying to put it in a box. I see other people's grief and I think, "well, that's not how I'm behaving/feeling/acting/reacting, so I must not be grieving yet." But that's their grief, not mine. I think about the Stages of Grief and I don't think they apply to me. I don't feel anger and I'm not sure I ever will. Does that mean I'm doing it wrong? Grief isn't one size fits all and maybe this is my grief. I have been grieving and I will continue to grieve. And it may not be in the right order, or at the right time, or in the right amount, or in the right shape. It just will be.

From Lament for a Son, by Nicholas Wolterstorff:

"Grief is existential testimony to the worth of the one loved. That worth abides. So I own my grief. I do not try to put it behind me, to get over it, to forget it… Every lament is a love-song."

Ok, I got a little off topic from the video. Words just starting flowing and, I guess I'm trying to not hold back so much. Watch this video. It's heartbreakingly beautiful and I'm sure I can write a million words about it alone.